Just Like My Daddy

"But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the LORD, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the LORD, the Spirit." ~ 2 Corinthians 3:18

I love watching the relationship my daughter has with her Daddy. She idolizes him, wants to be like him, and longs to spend time with him. It occurred to me one day as I listened to her talk about him, that God is using her to show me the perfect example of how I am to love and adore Him, the One who is my Abba Father.

Every morning when my daughter wakes up, her first thought is “Is Daddy here?”. Many mornings, he has already gone to work for the day and there is such great disappointment that she did not get to say good-bye. But, on the mornings he is here, she barrels down the hall with such speed that you'd think her room was on fire! She just bursts forth with the thought of seeing her beloved Dad. She loves making breakfast with him, a tradition that I hope will last them well into her teenage years. After many mornings of hearing her feet rapidly pattering down the hallway, I finally realized that this is how I am to greet my precious Heavenly Father. I should be so excited to see Him in the mornings, that I ought to literally jump out of bed at the thought of meeting with Him! Sadly, this is rarely how I approach my time with Him. Often, I am dragging myself out from under the comfort of the covers, already grumpy that my daughter has woken me up. I stumble into the kitchen, slamming dishes around, trying to scrounge up some breakfast. After getting onto my daughter one more time for being so LOUD in the mornings, I finally sit down to eat. It is only then that I open the Word and try to find a connection to my God. I wonder what my day would be like, though, if I did run to Him the way my daughter runs to greet her father. He is always there, waiting for me to meet with Him.

My daughter not only loves to spend time with her Dad, she also wants to be JUST like him. We get a big kick out of some of the things she will say and do to emulate him. In her mind, he is the perfect man – her prince! If Daddy likes basketball and golf, well she is going to do her best to like those things, too. The other day, they were eating dinner at a Mexican restaurant, when she forgot to tell the waiter that she did not want beans with her meal. She freaked out a little bit that the beans were there on her plate and were leaking over into her rice! She had decided a while back that she did not like refried beans. We thought it was just her picky taste buds, but she said something to my husband that made us think differently. She told him that since he didn't eat those beans, then she didn't want to either because she wanted to be just like him. Again, God reminded me that this is how I ought to think about His ways. My utmost desire should be to look like Him, act like Him, love what He loves, and hate what He hates. If He doesn't like something in my life, I shouldn't even want it on my “plate”, for fear that it might leak into everything else on the plate, thereby ruining the meal.

I am encouraged by the fact that even though I don't always give Him my best, my Father is always waiting for me to come running to Him. He is thrilled to see me, though my hair may be in a funk, I'm wearing the same pajamas I've worn three nights in a row, and I still have sleep in my eyes! And I'm thankful that He is the Prince I can always count on to save the day. He will never steer me wrong, so I can trust Him and walk faithfully in His ways. I pray one day, I will finally treat Him as He deserves to be treated so that I can show my daughter how to love Him as she loves her Daddy.

Prayer:  Abba Father, I come running to meet with You today. Thank You for Your never-ending desire to fellowship with me. I want to be just like You. Please help me to love the things You love. Forgive me when I allow things to creep into my life that shouldn't be there. May my life be a perfect reflection of You. Amen.

Further Reading:  Romans 8:29, Ephesians 4:22-24, Psalm 5:3, Isaiah 50:4, Mark 1:35

****You may remember that last year, I attended the She Speaks Conference.  God used this conference in so many ways and I am still trying to process it all.  I would love to have the opportunity to go again this year because I truly believe in the mission of this organization.  The She Speaks Conference is about women connecting the hearts of women to the heart of God.  I hope you know from my blog that this is my desire as well.  Ann Voskamp is sponsoring a scholarship contest for a chance to go to the conference this year.  This is my entry for that contest.  Please click on over to her blog to find out more details.

Wuv, Twue Wuv, Foweveh!

This was the day I had waited for all my life.  I had found a man who had swept me off my feet.  A man who would sing to me if I asked, take me to musicals even if it meant missing the World Series, and leave sweet poems on my windshield.  A man who loved me enough to let me be myself.  With him, my walls dropped.  He made me a better person.  I had found love.  True, pure love.

The church was beautiful.  Exactly as I had envisioned it.  The flowers, the candles, the music.  All perfect.  It was a dream come true.  Everything was going as planned.  The day of the wedding, I was cool and confident.  At peace. 

As my groom awaited my entrance into the sanctuary, joy filled my soul.  It was the perfect moment.  The doors opened, the music played, and I prepared myself to take that long walk. 

What happened next startled me out of my sweet dream. 

My precious little ring bearer was urgently tugging on my Dad's sleeve, stating the very obvious fact that he had to go to the bathroom. right. at. that. very. moment!!!!  I flashbacked to a time when babysitting him that he had gotten himself so upset, he said he was going to throw up.  Paul and I didn't believe him, just thought it was a tactic to get out of going to bed, but sure enough...there it was.  And, now, here I was, in this very important moment, trying to decide whether or not he was serious.  Because, after all, they were playing MY song.  THE song.  But, before I could even say a word, I turned around and my dad was gone.  To the bathroom.  The father of the bride - the one who was supposed to be walking me down the aisle RIGHT NOW - had disappeared with the ring bearer who was supposed to go down the aisle before me!    

Well, the calm, collected part of me came undone and the tears streaked down my perfectly made up face on my perfect day.  I was standing in the doorway, as people watched me expectedly, having a total nervous breakdown.  I mean, how on earth could this little boy ruin my day?  Fully involved in my little pity party, I hardly noticed my dad take my arm.  We took off flying as if we were racing the music to get to the alter on time.  Little did the people in the congregation know that these were not tears of joy.  They were tears of utter horror.

Though I may have been crying the most ugly cry ever, my groom still took my as his own.  He loved me.  He wanted me as his bride for the rest of his life.

You know what?  Though that scene will be forever etched in my mind, it was still a perfect day.  I still married the man on my dreams.  (And now I have a fun story to tell at parties!) 

A. W. Tozer jogged my memory of this day as I read his chapter on God's love in Volume 2 of The Attributes of God.  He speaks of the love God has for us.  For just as my earthly groom waited for me to join him in our life together, so awaits my heavenly Groom. 

Earthly love is imperfect.

The love of God is perfect. 

Human relationships are conditional.  With boundaries and limits.

God's love is unconditional.  Limitless.

Our love fades.  We die.  The love we have for each other cannot go on forever.

God's love for us endures forever.

When I first believed in this love, I forsook all others and walked down the aisle with my Father to meet my Groom, Jesus.  All my dreams came true.  I found the love I had been longing for.  A love that would never let me go.  And He looked on me, His bride, with such adoring lovingkindness and mercy, that He gave up His life to be with me for eternity. 

That was the perfect wedding.  That was the most important day of my life.  The day I married into God's family and accepted the beautiful love of God.

Though my Groom is not physically here with me on this earth (He sent His Helper, the Holy Spirit to stay with me here), one day He is returning for me.  He will once again sweep me off my feet, riding His beautiful white horse.  He will give me a gown of fine, clean linen to replace my rags of unrighteousness.  My Prince will forever slay the beast that has haunted me all my life.  Together, we will enjoy a wedding feast unlike any the world has ever seen.  Then, He will carry me off to the Holy City He has built just for me.  I will be His and He will be mine forevermore.  (Revelation 19-22)

That is what I call "Wuv, Twue Wuv, Foweveh!!"**  Amen! 

Do you know the most wonderful part of this story God has written?  He longs to make each and every one of us His "bride".  All those who come to Him and believe on His Name will have their own love story with the Savior of the world.

Forget romance novels, try reading the Bible!  It contains the sweeping romance of God towards those who follow Him.  He loves you.  Oh, how He loves you.  And He wants you to be a part of the best ending in history.    

**Note: In case you don't recognize it, this line is from The Princess Bride, one of my all-time favorite movies!** 

Music helps me relate to this great love God has for me:

Thankful Thursday

Things have been difficult for my daughter at school lately.  As a result, my heart has hurt and stressed and worried much more than it should.  I know I can lay these burdens down at the foot of the cross.  I know that the God Who has carried me will carry her.  I know that she is where she needs to be. 

Instead of letting anxious thoughts consume me, I am trying to dwell on the positive and be thankful.  I love how the New Living Bible states this verse:  "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done." ~ Philippians 4:6


So, I am counting my blessings today.  
 
For these things and many more, I am truly thankful: 

• A new traffic light on my route to school that helps to get me there on time, even when I run late.
• The cool air that wafts into my bathroom in the mornings, preventing me from starting the day off sweaty and grouchy.
• Listening to the birds sing their songs from my beautiful, wooded backyard.
• The new hair "stapler" (as Ella calls it) I got for my birthday that makes my hair smooth and soft and much easier to handle. 
• Ella's math test last week, on which she made a B+!
• The great progress we can see that she is making, despite the grades she brings home.
• That my daughter loves school and wants to go, even when it's hard.
• A teacher and principal who are doing their best to help my child.
• The Word of God that is being planted into Ella's heart at school, home, and church.
• The lessons of endurance and dependence on God that my daughter is learning through her circumstances.
• Cracker Barrel's yummy breakfast and the chance to eat it with 3 great friends over the past 2 weeks. 
• Having my family all in one city.  I know this is such a blessing and I pray I don't ever take it for granted.  The fact that I get to work with members of my family is icing on the cake (most of the time, lol!).
• A special afternoon with my special girl yesterday - shopping, Frostys, and singing "Don't Stop Believin'" at the top of our lungs! 

What are you thankful for on this October morning? 

Do You Remember September?

September.  Miracles happen in September.  With the fresh, cool air blows a renewing spirit.  A refreshing to my soul.  For you see, September is my month.  The month God has hand-wrapped as a special memorial to His healing grace. 

Not only did He heal and restore my body and soul on a day in September that the world would wish not to remember, He also gave me the perfect gift.  The child I had so desperately wanted. 

Doctors told me I'd never carry her.  They'd spoken those words like daggers through my heart. 

But God. 

God saw fit to bless my life with hers on the very day of my healing, exactly two years after I'd been fitted with a titanium spine.  A ray of sunshine to remind me once again that, yes, miracles do happen.

And they come in the form of dimpled cheeks and deep blue eyes.  Sweetness in a bundle of pink.

Then, just like that, seven years disappeared. 

Years of belly laughs and tears.

Learning and listening.

Grit and grace and growth.

 

And, now we are here.  Seven years old already.  It feels like seconds and centuries at the same time. 

My baby, turning into a little lady. 

Happy 7th Birthday, my sweet girl!

I thank God for the memories and the miracle of you.  I pray His favor over you all your life.  May you seek Him and find Him and know Him and love Him with complete abandon.  For though I love you bigger than the earth, sun, and moon, He loves you even more than that.  Bask in His delight this day and always. 

4:45 AM

That was the time of my wake-up call this morning.  When two giggly girls emerged from Ella's room, all refreshed and revived from all 7 hours of beauty sleep.  I, on the other hand, am a walking zombie after 4 & 1/2 hours of ugly sleep.  How I'm even able to compose a sentence is a miracle, I tell you.  But, that's not what this post is about, so let's move on.

Ella is having her first sleepover.  Well, that's not technically correct.  We have had dear friends come into town on occasion, and she has had week-long slumber parties with her buddies.  But, this is the first time she has been able to invite a friend on her own to spend the night.  It's actually been a joy (with the exception of the aforementioned wake-up call) to watch my daughter interact with her friend.  She was literally beside herself with excitement yesterday as we waited for her friend to arrive. 

"It will be just like having a sister," she proclaimed with a squeal.

Little does she know how those words break my heart.  How watching her with a close friend, how having a constant playmate for just a day or two, makes me long even more for the sibling she may never have. 

Pizza was gobbled down over cute conversations about likes and dislikes.  Cupcakes were made, decorated, and eaten, between bouts of imaginary play.  Dressing up as princesses and putting on a show.  Snuggling up to watch a movie, then talking themselves to sleep.  Waking up early (did I mention it was 4:45??), conspiring to have pancakes for breakfast.  Spinning, twirling, laughing, fighting, hugging.

In the end, the friend must go home, and my daughter's life will return to normal.  Normal is mom as her only playmate.  Boring old mom who doesn't like to play dress-up or talk the Barbies.  Mom who drags her around on errands instead of enjoying 20 episodes of "Phineas & Ferb" or "The Suite Life". 

In the end, it's just mom, dad, and Ella.  If God doesn't intervene and open my womb or see fit to bless us through adoption, that's the way it will stay.  It is my constant prayer that she will be content with her family of three.  That I will be content.  For we are truly blessed beyond anything I could have asked or imagined. 

But, sometimes, the same old wound opens back up and bleeds just a little before it scabs back over.